- The need for approval
- The need for acceptance
- The need for material things
- The need to feel needed
- The need for satisfaction
- The need to control everything and everyone
- The need to achieve more
All of these needs distract us from ourselves.
If we’re worried about the need for approval, then we’re giving others power over our self-esteem and our self-worth.
If we’re worried about being accepted into groups, then we’re likely to compromise who we are in order to fit in.
If we’re constantly seeking new things, new devices, new cars, new clothes, new whatever, then we’re never content with what we have and our happiness becomes dependent on external factors. We need to simplify, because the more things we have the more masters we have to serve.
If we’re constantly consumed with caring for others and their needs, then we’re neglecting ourselves. We need to take time for self-care. Engage in self-reflection. Build self-awareness. There’s good reason why pre-flight instructions tell us to, in case of an emergency, place the oxygen mask on ourselves first before placing it on anyone else. In order to help others, we have to help ourselves first.
If we’re constantly seeking satisfaction then we struggle to find contentment within. We become obsessed with chasing external pleasures--more indulgent food, more sex, more drugs, more alcohol, more money, more, more, more. If uncontrolled, we are constantly feeding the beast of desire. We have to tame our desires and our pleasures. We have to find satisfaction in the simplicity of life. As Leonardo DaVinci said, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”
If we need to control everything and everyone around us then we’re deflecting the attention off of controlling ourselves. Plato says it best, “The first and the best victory is to conquer self.” We cannot control everything. We cannot control others. What we can control are our thoughts, our perceptions, our desires, our judgements, our actions, and our behavior. We have to focus on the things within our control, and let go of the things that aren’t.
I spent 10 years in the corporate world achieving. I was great at achieving. I crushed every position I held. I climbed to the top. I achieved success. What I didn’t achieve was fulfillment. We have to be careful in life not to chase achievement, but instead to first seek fulfillment and purpose. Achievement does not equal success. Achievement is Ego driven. Keep your ego in check. I know plenty of people that have achieved so much, yet have so little. I’m sure you know these people too. Don’t let this person be you.
Check out www.thinkrighteatwell.com to learn more about the TREWTh lifestyle.